Have you met my friend Jesus?

I really enjoy sharing news about Jesus as well as anything that should effect us as a christian people.Time to rise up and have a voice like never before.People are being lead blindly to hell,never realizing God is not looking for perfect people ,he is looking for a people to believe in him and his son Jesus ,who died for us…This is my testimony;;;

 A lot of us were raised unintenionally to think we had to be ”good” to get to heaven.I grew up in a southern babtist church,loving people that i considered ”the rest of my family’.But the idea on how to have God love me and hear me was totally misunderstood.I have talked to several people about this that were in my shoes..

 There are a few of us i know (my moms one)whom have never stole,commited immoral sex,used drugs of any kind or enjoyed alcohol..These people i am sure had an easier time of feeling secure about searching for God.As for me and ones like me,i endulged in a little of all,sometimes a lot.I was born in the summer of 1963 ,a rebel and independant little girl,by age 13 i was drinking (dad and family members drinked ,made it easy to sneak) and was smoking weed(marijuana)By age 14 i was having sex,I so wanted to be popular with the guys and wanted to be loved.Stupid me that thought i knew it all.AT this point let me say…don’t think my mom was not a good mom,she was.worked hard to raise 4 kids with  a drunk for a hubby.She worked a lot,had too.We lived way out in the country and as the ones of us know then,at this age we are driving all over the place and kids were not stupid then,we knew a little about taking care of ourselves away from mommy and daddy ,and i was a devious one and manipulative one AND could lie my way out of most everything.So access to boys and friends were not a problem,we also rode horses a lot and hung out at the swimming hole.Wasn’t mom or anyone else.IT WAS ME AND ME ALONE!!!!

Had  married , started my family at age 16.I had a baby boy in August weeks before i turned 17 .My husband had been killed that april in a car accident .At this point my life was already so full of guilt,hurt,rejection,loss,fear that i just wanted to scream…God knew what he was doing when he gave me my son early on.Darrell was my sunshine amongst all my crazy stuff,he needed me…I needed him.(Keep this in mind girls if any of you are considering abortion..it is hard to raise a child early on but strange how they turn out to be what we need afterwards to be strong and they give a love that no man can ever give!unconditional -just like our father in Heaven!!))))

  I met my second husband when Darrell was about 6 months old,he looked like a prince in shining armour .What i thought would be a magical home with a white picket fence and a wonderful daddy for my little boy turned into hell on earth 9 months after we got married when darrell was 14 mos. old.By this time darrell is almost 2 years old and i am pregnant with my second child,a little girl.It got a little better while i was pregnant but afterwards it was even worse.He was very abusive to me and the kids at time ,expecially Darrell.This continued for 7 years  longer.You must remember then that there was not the help for abused women and families there are now.I had even went to a police officer several times i knew(that knew what was going on) and told them that if they found me dead to make sure my husband did not get the kids that he would have been the one to kill me.People let me tell you,that is not a good life to live…The mental abuse is almost as hard as the physical.You figure out how to hide most of the bruising and cuts,lie about horses and cows kicking you(i worked with animals) how kids got bruises on them.all of it because you are scared to death….I had my foot broke,ankle broke,fingers broke,cheek,eyebrow,list could go on…never went to the hospital with it…i did not want anyone to know this and they knew it anyway…This was humiliating to me enough without telling anyone else…He jad threatened to kill family members and me if they got involved so i lied,and lied and lied and the devil was laughing all the way!By our 10th year together something happened.I know now that it was Jesus and the Holy spirit telling me it was time to step out…and after one night of being beat ,the pain did not hurt at all that night,i said this is it..I got up the next morning and got the kids ready for school put them in the truck,busted up my kitchen chairs,attacked him with an iron and told him if he was there when i got home i was going to kill him,i would blow him in half with a shotgun and i walked out the door..Sure enough he was gone that evening.Through the years i did have to deal with him because of our daughter but we did not live in fear of him nor be abused by him.My son was never hurt by him again.And you know funny thing…I held on to all that anger and hurt for all these years,until my youngest grandson was 14  mos. old…FOR 15 YEARS!!!! and at my expence i could start drinking and who ever was with me then would get the lashing of my anger for all he pain i had endured and my kids..I could be brutal with my mouth and struck out a few times….That song ”a straight tequila night” he could have wrote that for me….Man i was in a mess and tring to hang on and steady fix this mess we were in ,my kids and me…I struggled so hard with EVERYTHING…nothing would work out very long…I worked,tried to take care of them,family tried to help too but no one had much money…

 I married a man i thought would help me raise my kids right,i had started finding Jesus by then and praying so hard and i thought,THOUGHT, he was the answer to my prayers…Boy was i wrong..After  a year together he was drinking hard and started using cocaine..I was not going to allow this again and one evening i came in from work,he was drunk and high and talking crazy..Grabbed me and i told him to take his hands off or i would slice his throat..He knew i was not playing..I said me and the kids were leaving and i would be back in the morning to get my trailer pulled home with the police…He left and we left ..i picked up my purse and started out the door and the holy spirit inspired me to get a picture that was hanging on the wall of the me and the kids ,i did not knowing why…when we returned in the moring with the police i knew why….He had burned our home and all the belongings we had to the ground!Everything we had…We left with the clothes on our back,my sons car ,my dog, and the one PICTURE OF US  that the spirit encouraged me to get..It hangs on my wall now…He got off the charge with a technicality,i have not laid eyes on him again.dont need to..

Time to start again WITH NOTHING EXCEPT EACH OTHER …God knew what he was doing,i just laxed and did not pay attention.I met a guy abou 3 mos later and started dating.The next weekend his ex girlfriend whom they had a 4 year old together,dropped him off at my door for the weekend (yes my door) and i found out that he turnrd 5 the next day!He had a great bday party none the less..shortly after that THEY moved in.I have raised this boy now for 11 years ,he is 16…The first few years we were together i started drinking again(see how stupid we can be when we don’t have all the facts) and using cocaine from time to time..even tried meth several times…And had it not been for his kid and mine…I don’t know what would have happened..YEP GOD KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING….I stopped using drugs all together ..during this time though i almost lost my daughter ,my son started drinking some and using coke and meth..although thank god .he had his hands on them and proteced him,darrell listened most of the time even when he didnt want too…Zack,my stepson, was a problem all along.The times his mom would come get him for a few days was heck afterwards.She told him all kinds of lies and pity stories and had him so screwed up in the head ,he is still a problem most times…PARENTS LISTEN HERE….DON’T MESS UP YOUR KIDS MINDS WITH YOUR ANGER AND STUPIDITY…THEY PAY THE PRICE ,NOT YOU!!!! Tina was not happy and meant zack and us would not be either…We found out a few months ago she had offered him weed…don’t judge this,,,she is paralized now from a horse accident from the chest down..So jail is not the place for her but we do keep him from her…well that is not the correct way to say it..he don’t even want to go anymore because of how she is now..high and strung out on pain pills all the time…

 

My grandma was my best friend.she was one of the few people who knew most everything.I look forward to seeeing her in Heaven one day and she built the pattern that now i try hard to live,, I still miss my grandma,she died in 2002 at the age of 94.We live in her and grandpaws hose now..I have come full circle and right back where i started from..But a whole different person with a new kind of strength…not mine but God’s…

 

MORE LATER:::

BETTY